Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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