I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
