The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
