Your mouth is God's brothel.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
