sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
