why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
