Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
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I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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