Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
