Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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