We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
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Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
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I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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