He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
