i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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