I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize