Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
