I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
