My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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