I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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