Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Randomize
