Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
