I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
