I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Drunk is a universal language darling
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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