wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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