I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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