I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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