Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
