In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize