i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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