But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My pussy is not your playground.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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