Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Randomize
