The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
