new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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