got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
