i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize