Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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