I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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