I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
