clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
