i can't believe i had my finger in that
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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