Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
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Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
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Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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