we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Is it penis luge time yet?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
