My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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