the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
