I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
