You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
