How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize