Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
