take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
