"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
