we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
