The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
