had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize