I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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