Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize