Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
