Tell her she can't have a vagina
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
