my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
