I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
