idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
