So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
