I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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