you have to choose: penises or morals?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
