I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
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boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
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I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.