the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.