Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people

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(901): View more from Tennessee

There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.

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(440): View more from Ohio

yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.

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(512): View more from Texas

We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(281): View more from Texas

I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep

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(207): View more from Maine

By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.

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(408): View more from California

I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you

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