Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her? http://tfl.nu/02kh
  Replies (9) Good night (2748) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/kbij
  Replies (25) Good night (5425) Bad night (1753)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me. http://tfl.nu/6xwb
  Replies (17) Good night (4007) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed. http://tfl.nu/6ncx
  Replies (5) Good night (4527) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys.... http://tfl.nu/ljba
  Replies (6) Good night (3016) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job. http://tfl.nu/vj5r
  Replies (11) Good night (2535) Bad night (1012)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police. http://tfl.nu/uj8w
  Replies (8) Good night (2814) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.

  (254): View more from Texas

  Jealous?

  (903): View more from Texas

  Very.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits. (254): Jealous? (903): Very. http://tfl.nu/i9gx
  Replies (8) Good night (2559) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet http://tfl.nu/obun
  Replies (25) Good night (2817) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain. http://tfl.nu/rwko
  Replies (5) Good night (1430) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas http://tfl.nu/y10v
  Replies (3) Good night (1624) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader. http://tfl.nu/60hc
  Replies (1) Good night (1575) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to? http://tfl.nu/60if
  Replies (6) Good night (1116) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good. http://tfl.nu/gr5l
  Replies (1) Good night (768) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!? http://tfl.nu/obq2
  Replies (4) Good night (711) Bad night (403)

Randomize