Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death

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  (312): office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death http://tfl.nu/9uva
  Replies (5) Good night (1066) Bad night (1455)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.

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  (613): he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/9esh
  Replies (58) Good night (833) Bad night (11570)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.

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  (843): He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat. http://tfl.nu/b45i
  Replies (29) Good night (5362) Bad night (920)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.

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  (206): This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/tgbz
  Replies (11) Good night (3004) Bad night (870)
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  (510): View more from California

  I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.

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  (510): I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit. http://tfl.nu/1jo4
  Replies (9) Good night (3061) Bad night (977)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right

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  (807): If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right http://tfl.nu/lb7z
  Replies (3) Good night (4033) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.

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  (979): Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/s5ox
  Replies (14) Good night (2306) Bad night (726)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.

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  (843): I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest. http://tfl.nu/0b74
  Replies (6) Good night (632) Bad night (1237)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.

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  (617): Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home. http://tfl.nu/hrqw
  Replies (6) Good night (1593) Bad night (600)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  But you'll make an exception

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  probably not

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  (908): I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls (1-908): But you'll make an exception (908): probably not http://tfl.nu/9drh
  Replies (6) Good night (1650) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?

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  (587): Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature? http://tfl.nu/gy0w
  Replies (7) Good night (1381) Bad night (477)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while

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  (+61): I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while http://tfl.nu/v6v9
  Replies (2) Good night (583) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..

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  (660): I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won.. http://tfl.nu/18ev
  Replies (4) Good night (1021) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now

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  (614): If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now http://tfl.nu/yl7j
  Replies (4) Good night (396) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket

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  (917): Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket http://tfl.nu/kk5i
  Replies (1) Good night (326) Bad night (177)

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