I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.