I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
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Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
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My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure