Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...

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(516): View more from New York

i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs

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(518): View more from New York

Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?

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(815): View more from Illinois

Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".

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These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Read it at the TFLN blog
(903): View more from Texas

All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.

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(240): View more from Maryland

No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom

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(765): View more from Indiana

Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I learned so much in Pittsburgh

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